Unexpected
by Celeste Belle
Summary: Wolverine has to deal with a human intruder. At one in the morning. What do you get when you take a sleep-deprived Wolverine, subtract beer, and add a robber who doesn't know what a mutant is? Humor of course!


Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men.

A/N: This is one I've had in my head for a while. It just developed itself today. I'm not too sure that I like the ending, but it was the best I could do with this one. Enjoy. ^_^

Unexpected

It was 1:38 a.m. and Logan couldn't sleep. Growling as he rummaged through the kitchen looking for beer, he silently cursed the lack of. He knew it was a school, but still. It was at least a 10 minute drive to the nearest bar, even with Scott's motorcycle. Sighing as he pulled a soda from the fridge, he sat at the counter and sullenly thought about the last time he'd had a beer socially.

It had been Rogue's 21st birthday. He had taken her to a bar, and bought her first drink. He had started her off with the girly drinks, because he thought she would prefer them. He had been pleasantly surprised to find out that she preferred the stronger stuff. When she had replied that it was his influence, he was confused for a second before remembering that he was inside her head. At that, he had flinched before she assured him it was alright. Smiling briefly at the memory, he was startled from his thoughts by a crash down the hall.

Growling fiercely at the scent of the human intruder, Wolverine stalked down the hall. He was in no mood to deal with some wannabe robber who had the misfortune of not knowing he had stumbled into a house full of mutants. He hadn't had a beer in two days, and the whiny, bratty new recruits always managed to give him a headache in the danger room sessions. Not to mention his exhaustion at the lack of sleep ensured by his nightmares.

When he stopped outside the door, he stayed in the shadows to watch the man fumble around looking for the expensive stuff, before deciding he'd seen enough. Stepping from the shadows just as he heard Storm and some of the older students walking carefully to see what the commotion had been, he relished the look of shock on the man's face. Apparently he thought no one was home. _Idiot._

"Stay where you are." The man ordered. His confident tone was lost to Logan, who could smell the stench of alcohol and fear. Wolverine savored the scent. This would be a good release for his frustrations, even though the puny human wouldn't be much of a challenge.

Growling at the man as he stalked forward, much the same way a predator stalks his prey, he kept himself between the gun and the door. He knew the moment the others had arrived because it was at that moment the intruder fired off a shot. The gasps behind him were enough to make the man glance over. The bullet hit Logan in the chest. He grunted at the slight pain before his mutation took over. When the hole was healed the bullet dropped harmlessly to the floor. The man stared in shock.

"Wh—wh—what are you?" He stuttered as his hands began shaking. Logan kept moving towards him.

Storm's warning came quietly, but firmly. "Don't kill him, Logan."

His only response was a grunt as his body went into Wolverine mode. His nose took in every scent in the room, recognizing the people behind him as his family, recognizing the man in front of him as an intruder. His eyes honed in on the shaking man, blazing a hole through every quiver, and twitchy movement. His ears focused on every sound—the man's shallow breathing, the quiet, confident breathing of those behind him, the fountain outside, an owl hooting from a tree, the wind whistling through the broken window. His muscles tensed, ready for a fight. He moved directly in front of the frightened man, claws coming out for the first time. The man gasped, and dropped the gun. Wolverine lowered his face as he raised his hand. His nose took in another smell. The man had soiled himself.

It was time. "Boo." The man screamed in an extremely high-pitched voice, and promptly launched himself back out the window. Wolverine could smell a little blood, but the man wasn't hurt too badly. He could hear him rushing down the driveway.

When he turned around, he could see the others laughing so hard they were falling over themselves and each other in an attempt to stay upright.

"I thought I handled it pretty well." He said, smirking.

Storm smiled patiently as she shook her head. Rogue was beaming.

"Ya ain't hurt, are ya, sugah?" she asked, remembering the bullet wound. Of course he wasn't, but she had to ask.

"Nah. Not even a scratch. Can't say the same for him though."

"That was like, totally hilarious!" Kitty said, grinning from ear to ear.

"He thought he was gonna die!" the Iceman exclaimed, still holding the wall for support.

"Ah bet he'll be tellin' everyone this place is protected by a ferocious beast or somethin' now." Rogue said

Storm nodded. "I'm glad you didn't actually hurt him. But I'm sure he'll try to find a new line of work now. Good job." With a last, fond smile, she headed back to bed.

It was a not-so-normal day for the X-Men, but that was okay. It was less eventful this way. And they still managed to do something good for mankind.


End file.
